HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES - tanTALK

missmojorising · 07-13-2007, 05:30 AM

HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

sundude · 07-13-2007, 05:40 AM

Good stuff

billable · 07-13-2007, 05:41 AM

If you don't know what a lexophile is, you probably aren't one.

missmojorising · 07-13-2007, 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billable

If you don't know what a lexophile is, you probably aren't one.

HAHA!

mr belvedere · 07-13-2007, 05:46 AM

~I think I would like to be one - yes?~

sundude · 07-13-2007, 05:49 AM

I knew Belvy would appreciate that one.

missmojorising · 07-13-2007, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr belvedere

~I think I would like to be one - yes?~

TOOooooo Late! You Are One!:love:

Gidget · 07-13-2007, 09:08 AM

I love those!

07-13-2007, 05:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
missmojorising I Love Derf! Who Doesn't? Join Date: Nov 17 2004 Location: Suite B4 Posts: 1,255 Rep Power: 26	HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. A will is a dead giveaway. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. A calendar's days are numbered. A boiled egg is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. A plateau is a high form of flattery Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture: a jab well done. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. __________________ Step In To The Light, While Loving Derf. www.simplytantexas.com

07-13-2007, 05:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
sundude Just imagine Derf Join Date: Jul 13 2006 Location: Not sure Posts: 8,460 Rep Power: 48	Re: HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES Good stuff __________________ "When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there." *www.sunbodiestanning.com* *Are we having fun yet?*

07-13-2007, 05:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
billable Join Date: Feb 1 2006 Location: Tennessee Age: 61 Posts: 2,077 Rep Power: 101	Re: HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES If you don't know what a lexophile is, you probably aren't one. __________________ Waiting list candidates 96,910 as of July 8 2007 at 4:23pm www.caregivertalk.org online caregiver support group

07-13-2007, 05:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
mr belvedere Mr. b Join Date: May 10 2005 Age: 52 Posts: 7,247 Rep Power: 67	Re: HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES ~I think I would like to be one - yes?~ __________________ "A dusty bible leads to a dirty life ..." -Synonymous

07-13-2007, 05:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
sundude Just imagine Derf Join Date: Jul 13 2006 Location: Not sure Posts: 8,460 Rep Power: 48	Re: HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES I knew Belvy would appreciate that one. __________________ "When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there." *www.sunbodiestanning.com* *Are we having fun yet?*

07-13-2007, 09:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
Gidget I'm Banned Join Date: Jul 26 2005 Location: Québec, Canada Posts: 8,521 Rep Power: 0	Re: HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES I love those!

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