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01-25-2007, 02:44 PM | #1 (permalink) |
I love Derf!! Join Date: Jul 16 2004 Location: NH
Posts: 474
Rep Power: 21 | Remember ladies For years and years they tell you Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr Pruitt, Said I should get a Mammogram "OK," I said, "let's do it." "Stand up here real close" she said, (She got my boob in line), "And tell me when it hurts," she said, "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine." She stepped upon a pedal, I could no t believe my eyes! A plastic plate came slamming down, My hooters in a vise! My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin. My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish Pancake thin. Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's viselike grip. A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless it! "Take a deep breath," she said to me,Who does she think she's kidding?!? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting. "There, that's good," I heard her say, (The room was slowly swaying.) "Now, let's have a go at the other one." Have mercy, I was praying. It squeezed me from both up and down, It squeezed me from both sides. I'll bet SHE'S never had this done, To HER tender little hide. Next time that they make me do this, I will request a blindfold. I have no wish to see again, My knockers getting steam rolled. If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have gone "ker-pow!" This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his b alls in there, And, see how THEY come out! OK Girls remember... Breast Cancer Awareness Go get your Mammies Grammed and stay healthy!
__________________ It's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. |
01-25-2007, 04:23 PM | #4 (permalink) |
My mom loves Derf!! Join Date: Jan 27 2006 Location: California
Posts: 1,377
Rep Power: 28 | Re: Remember ladies yep, i asked for a mammogram and they said "no, you are too young and it would cause more damage than your young breasts could take"... crazy! i felt it was necessary to have it done, and couldn't get it! another rule made by a man i am sure!
__________________ "all though a few people have been accepted over there that arent owners but that just means that they have the tan talk personality..which isnt a compliment.. " __________________BAHAHAHAHA... cracks me up every time! |
01-26-2007, 10:01 AM | #7 (permalink) |
I'm Banned Join Date: Jul 26 2005 Location: Québec, Canada
Posts: 8,521
Rep Power: 0 | Re: Remember ladies Had this done in April 2002 for the first time, I was 43. They found cancer cells in both breasts and I went under surgery in May 2002 and got part of both breasts removed because of it. I also had reconstruction to make sure everything was even afterward. It hurts but its only for a few minutes and its well worth it. You'll never hear me complained like I did in April 2002. |
01-26-2007, 02:02 PM | #9 (permalink) | |
My mom loves Derf!! Join Date: Jan 27 2006 Location: California
Posts: 1,377
Rep Power: 28 | Re: Remember ladies Quote:
__________________ "all though a few people have been accepted over there that arent owners but that just means that they have the tan talk personality..which isnt a compliment.. " __________________BAHAHAHAHA... cracks me up every time! | |
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