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Old 03-22-2006, 12:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Your must read Horoscope

DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER........these are your predictions by a true Physich.

I'm a Leo - Oh My!!!
________________________________________ _______________________

ARIES- You tend to be self centered and arrogant at all times. Basically you don't give a f*&^ about anyone but yourself. You're the type of person that probably **********s in front of the mirror, calling out your own name.


TAURUS- Your imature and whiny and those are your most endearing characteristics. You think anyone that speaks to you is your best friend. Your wrong. people cannot spend five minutes with you without becoming nauseous.


GEMINI- Your the sign of the twins, in your case one is good and the other is satan. Nobody ever knows until it is too late which one you really are. A police investigation will uncover all the bodies in your deep freeze, cut, packaged and marked "gound beef".

CANCER- You have a shitty attitude for life and a knack for really ******* people off. You are a cheap ******* who would sell their first born to buy a pack of smokes. You will more than likely be murdered by someone you did wrong or screwed over, even your first born will be a suspect.

LEO- The worst of the lot, always looking for trouble and usually finding it. you will probably end up in the penitentiary and a big bald guy with a whole body tattoo will take you as his *****. If your female, your probably a real ***** that nobody will ever want, unless maybe another Leo woman.

VIRGO- You like all the finer things in life and you really know how to enjoy them. But your prone to try and ******** everyone. Most people believe you are an engineer of some kind, you have kept your real profession of being an importer of sex toys a well kept secret. Sadly toys are now the only sex you will have for the rest of your days.

LIBRA- You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at most everything. However relationships are your downfall. You will make Liz Taylor look like an amateur and you will eventually get arrested for bigomy when you realize you forgot you still had one at home and married and moved another one in.

SCORPIO- You are sharp witted and business minded, however niether quality is of any use to you. You are such a tramp that all your time and energy is used up having sex with just about anyone that will. You will end up marrying a midgettapeze artist who will show you all kinds of new tricks.

SAGITTARIUS- You are the romantic mushy type, soft hearted and a lover of all human kind. you will sell everything you have to help the homeless. you will spend your life savings and end up selling your body, you will not make squat, you will die broke.

CAPRICORN- You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. But also mean and self centered. A real dickhead and probably a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an Elton john look a like who is secretly in love with you.

AQUARIUS- You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES - You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. you have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. Your a prick.
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

EEEEEKK! that's not me...........boohooboohooboohoo
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

Bring on the lab w/the fishnets...ugh!
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

LOL..
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

LOL....I'm a capricorn.
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

Taurus :(
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

HOLY COW! I keep forgetting about my avitar!!
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

Im a Sagittarius and they are pretty much calling me a hooker!
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

Quote:
Originally Posted by CAYENNE2005
Taurus :(
Your wrong. people cannot spend five minutes with you without becoming nauseous.

Maybe they saw your av on the BFF thread!!! Ewww.... LOL
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Old 03-22-2006, 12:45 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Your must read Horoscope

IS MIKE JONES A "PSYCHIC" NOW? - mine was WWWAAYYY off by a word or two. :)
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