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Old 01-24-2006, 09:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
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POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

Politically Correct Expressions


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred

to

as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY

APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE

INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY

INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY

SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN

STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE

DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL

RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY

HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR

CLEAVAGE

:lol:
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Old 01-24-2006, 10:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

:P Very Funny Cayenne!
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Old 01-24-2006, 10:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

I like that

Cayenne you always have something up your sleeve
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Old 01-24-2006, 10:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

Pectorially Superior! Funny
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Old 01-24-2006, 11:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

grain storage facility my a$$, it's the potato bin!
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Old 01-24-2006, 11:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
lmao~~
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yet I can still post here...:lol:
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Old 01-24-2006, 02:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

love it! I am sharing this one with MY older boyfriend:
He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL

RELATIONSHIPS."
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Old 01-24-2006, 02:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

LOL, He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." You always have the funniest jokes around here Gina!
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Old 01-24-2006, 04:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

I am going to the hockey game tonight and I will make sure to:

He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN

STORAGE FACILITY."
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Old 01-24-2006, 04:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT EXPRESSIONS

A beer gut???? I like to think of it as a shed for my tools, can't leave tools out in the weather you know. Nice list CAY!!!
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