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01-23-2006, 11:51 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Join Date: Jan 3 2002 Location: USA
Posts: 1,686
Rep Power: 23 | Joke of the Day ~ Almost Identical Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic," and "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart *** student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report: Titanic: $29.99 Clinton: $29.99 Titanic: Over 3 hours to read Clinton: Over 3 hours to read Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic: Jack is a starving artist. Clinton: Bill is a ******** artist. Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton: Ditto for Bill. Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton: Ditto for Monica. Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton: Let's not go there. Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry. Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts. Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack S**t. Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing. |
01-23-2006, 12:00 PM | #2 (permalink) |
Join Date: Jan 3 2002 Location: USA
Posts: 1,686
Rep Power: 23 | Re: Joke of the Day ~ THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005: |
01-27-2006, 11:43 AM | #8 (permalink) |
Join Date: Jan 3 2002 Location: USA
Posts: 1,686
Rep Power: 23 | Re: Joke of the Day ~ Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living. He called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied, "That tasted like bull ****!" The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low." |
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