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11-08-2005, 08:25 AM | #1 (permalink) |
I love Derf!! Join Date: Jan 31 2005 Location: Around the corner Age: 55
Posts: 1,730
Rep Power: 143 | You know sometimes I get the sudden urge to run around naked. But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking. Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative! Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. I got a sweater for Christmas...really wanted a screamer or a moaner. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of th! em get elected! The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dip-sticks. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary's. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades... now THAT'S a message! I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately! Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? |
11-08-2005, 04:11 PM | #6 (permalink) |
I love Derf!! Join Date: Jan 31 2005 Location: Around the corner Age: 55
Posts: 1,730
Rep Power: 143 | You mean you didn't party with me in Nashville? I was the one in the lt. green running suit bouncing off every wall, not spilling and drop, cracking up and critiquing everyones shoes with JEFF!! ALL WEEKEND!! (bad influence, he is) |
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