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Old 11-08-2005, 08:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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You know sometimes I get the sudden urge to run around
naked. But then I just drink some Windex.
It keeps me from streaking.


Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't
even get into my own pants.

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my
blood alcohol content.

Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in
bed with a relative!

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes
misery easier to live with.

I got a sweater for Christmas...really wanted a
screamer or a moaner.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too
many of th! em get elected!

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has
absolutely no trade-in value.

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and
dip-sticks.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it
deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary's.
But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...
now THAT'S a message!

I love being married. It's so great to find that one
special person you want to annoy for the rest of
your life.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore
I am perfect.

I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones
she's been giving me lately!

Everyday I beat my own previous record for
number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come
I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like
having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Old 11-08-2005, 08:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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You are on a roll girl! Too Funny!
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Old 11-08-2005, 12:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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Old 11-08-2005, 12:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 11-08-2005, 03:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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You would be a blast to go to a party with girl! lol
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Old 11-08-2005, 04:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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You mean you didn't party with me in Nashville? I was the one in the lt. green running suit bouncing off every wall, not spilling and drop, cracking up and critiquing everyones shoes with JEFF!! ALL WEEKEND!!
(bad influence, he is)
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Old 11-08-2005, 06:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Didn't have the money to go to Nashville but on February 11 & 12 there is going to Southeast expo at Myrtle Beach. Gonna have a blast there though!
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Old 11-08-2005, 06:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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You are a HOT MESS Gina! LOL those did make me laugh!
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