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Old 10-28-2005, 03:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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Not sure if anyone has read this but, I just got it and thought it was hilarious!

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been ****.. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you
came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came
home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,whatever
the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

> Your EX-Wife



Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had
on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed
that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty
dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

> Signed Rich As **** and Free!

:lol
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Old 10-28-2005, 03:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Old 10-28-2005, 04:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 10-28-2005, 04:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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Oh My God Girl.....That is too funny!
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