Originally Posted by mr belvedere

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Originally Posted by mr belvedere

Top ten things kids use a straw for:

#10. Blowing the paper wrapper into the back of the head of the ****'s Angel Ambassador sitting at the next booth.

#9. Blowing a straw-full of Sprite or other sticky liquid at you and missing. Only to the back of the head of the ****'s Angel Ambassador sitting in the next booth.

#8. Creating unique little figurines by bending, twisting, and folding it. And they'll insist on taking it to school for show and tell the next day.

#7. Pretending it's a cigarette, and their drink is a "cocktail", so they can feel just like "daddy".

#6. Blowing bursts of air right into your eye socket as your apologizing to the ****'s Angel in the next booth.

#5. Pretending it's a microphone, and they're Howard Cosell, when the ****'s Angel refuses to accept your apology, and decides "you" need to "pay" for the sins of the child.

#4. Pretending it's a medical probe of some sort to determine if there is in fact a direct route to their frontal lobe through their nostril.

#3. Pretending it's a gun in an attempt to get the ****'s Angel to stop pounding your face.

#2. For drinking liquids.

And the number one thing kids will use a straw for: An ear gouging tool when they feel like their big sister just isn't "really listening" to what they have to say.

Spent three hours at the ER tonight (9:30pm - 12:30am) with the victim.

Coming up next: Top ten reasons why it takes forever in the ER after 9:30 pm. Stay tuned.