Did she die or didn\'t she? - tanTALK

sunshineshack · 07-27-2005, 06:00 PM

How do you find out if someone really died. We got a call last night that told us my step-sister died. We weren't supposed to know and we will not be allowed at the funeral; therefore, no info was given. It was supposobly a car accident, but we can't find any info. She was also married the day before. there were supposed to be other in the car.

Her mother obviously brainwashed her to believeing we were all bad or something because as she got older, she didn't make much attempt on her own to be with us.

She was originally taken as a toddler. We found her once when she was around 8 and her mother took off with her again. She had married again and had a little boy. she took off with that little boy, too. At this time the mother's last name became Bracewell (i think).

We don't know where any of this (accident including) would have even occured.

All we know is she was Crystal D. Fletcher before she married (unless she married twice). She wanted to join the airforce the last time I spoke with her about 6 or so years ago. She is 25 years old.

We don't know what to do. This is killing my dad (step-dad who raised me as his own and whom I love as MY DAD). It is like he was stabbed in the back over and over and the last twist is them not even letting him have closure at her funeral only remembering her as a little girl and never knowing the woman she grew into or become. Nothing about her other than the fact that she has two children.

I am so angry that my dad is hurting. He feels like he was robbed. He prayed and prayed and then stopped and basically told God that he was handing it over to him. He tried so long to find and have a realtionship with her.

The best we can figure is Florida or Ohio. With the airfoce, probably Florida.

Would anyone know anything that we could do to find out?

People searches aren't yielding anything for us. News searches aren't popping up any accidents.

Please...I don't know what else to do.

Neon Beach · 07-27-2005, 06:11 PM

Yikes! That's a tough one, wish I could help. It's hard when you don't have a full name or address to work with. I have a sister I haven't seen in about 35 years, with time she could be found, but not in a matter of days I don't think.

Best bet might be to find a sympathetic family member who will release the info to you. Good luck.

sherlynn01 · 07-27-2005, 06:13 PM

Did you call some to the local papers to see if they mite have posted about her death.

candie · 07-27-2005, 06:17 PM

If she just got married the day before the supposed accident she probably hasn't changed her name yet. Try your local library and see if they can help you with a more advanced people search. Or maybe try calling this family member back or a more reliable one and see what the deal is. Thats kinda rude to call and say someone has died, but you can't come pay your respects. What kind of person does that??

sunshineshack · 07-27-2005, 06:21 PM

There actually all a bit wierd. We were told that nothing would be put in the paper either. It just sounds down right crazy and so unbelievable, but that really is how her mother was.

Neon Beach · 07-27-2005, 06:38 PM

I can actually believe that. I have had some strange family things happen in the time of death also. Grudges etc. for whatever reason.

Sunset_Beach · 07-28-2005, 08:10 AM

If you know the city where she lived, you can call the county courthouse or Department of Human Services(if they have one). Those two places usually keep death certificates. Any Department of Human Services in your state should be able to pull up a death certificate provided you know all of the correct information.

sunshineshack · 07-30-2005, 07:22 PM

Quote:
On 2005-07-27 18:38:00, Neon Beach wrote:
I can actually believe that. I have had some strange family things happen in the time of death also. Grudges etc. for whatever reason.

My Dad keeps trying to tell me that this doesn't suprise him in the least considering the way her mother has been (and her family) all their lives.

We did verify it, though. She did die in a car accident, but we still don't know any details. The person who wasn't supposed to be calling us, called us again. She is to be brought from Florida to here (may already be here as of today), but we aren't supposed to know. We called around to a few funeral homes and figured out which one. I called personally to the funeral directors home and spoke to his daughter. Heartfelty she investigated for me and called me back. She said there wasn't much info other than what I already knew and would call me back when more came or when the body arrived. She never did, though. I guess who pays for the arrangements gets their way.
Further investigation led us to know that there would be no funeral. I guess the mom isn't taking any chances that we may want to say good bye. The body is supposed to be here Sat or Sund and as soon as it arrives at the funeral home they are to call the family (minus us) and tell them and then take the body directly to the cemetary. There will be a grave-side service done immedietly. That is the jest of it. Anger being words to be expressed...or more so hurt! I feel so much for my step-father, who I call Daddy, who raised me as if I was his own and did a darn good job of it (far better than my natural father who was abusive). I just can't see such a good man getting treated so horribly! I don' even think my mom would do this to my father who abused me. Everyone deserves a right to say goodbye. :0( We must trust in God to heal our hearts and give us the closure we greatly desire!

I feel like her mother ruled her life and now is ruling her death. I feel for her children who I am sure her mother will try to take away from her husband since they weren't married until the day before the accident. She probably has legal gaurdianship over them because my step-sister was supposably wanting to (and probably did) join the airforce. I just wish I could get her husbands name. I am sure we could have a reasonable, open conversation. He may not realize all that has happened. I am worried he may now need help to keep his children after the way her mother did her own children. He may not be aware of what this woman is capable of.

Neon Beach · 07-31-2005, 06:29 AM

Sad stuff.

capetan · 08-01-2005, 11:15 AM

That is a horrible sad situation and I wish you and your Father the best of luck in your quest for him to get closure.

07-27-2005, 06:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
sunshineshack Join Date: Apr 30 2005 Posts: 47 Rep Power: 0	How do you find out if someone really died. We got a call last night that told us my step-sister died. We weren't supposed to know and we will not be allowed at the funeral; therefore, no info was given. It was supposobly a car accident, but we can't find any info. She was also married the day before. there were supposed to be other in the car. Her mother obviously brainwashed her to believeing we were all bad or something because as she got older, she didn't make much attempt on her own to be with us. She was originally taken as a toddler. We found her once when she was around 8 and her mother took off with her again. She had married again and had a little boy. she took off with that little boy, too. At this time the mother's last name became Bracewell (i think). We don't know where any of this (accident including) would have even occured. All we know is she was Crystal D. Fletcher before she married (unless she married twice). She wanted to join the airforce the last time I spoke with her about 6 or so years ago. She is 25 years old. We don't know what to do. This is killing my dad (step-dad who raised me as his own and whom I love as MY DAD). It is like he was stabbed in the back over and over and the last twist is them not even letting him have closure at her funeral only remembering her as a little girl and never knowing the woman she grew into or become. Nothing about her other than the fact that she has two children. I am so angry that my dad is hurting. He feels like he was robbed. He prayed and prayed and then stopped and basically told God that he was handing it over to him. He tried so long to find and have a realtionship with her. The best we can figure is Florida or Ohio. With the airfoce, probably Florida. Would anyone know anything that we could do to find out? People searches aren't yielding anything for us. News searches aren't popping up any accidents. Please...I don't know what else to do.

07-27-2005, 06:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Neon Beach Join Date: Nov 30 2000 Location: Ontario Age: 61 Posts: 38,594 Rep Power: 107	Yikes! That's a tough one, wish I could help. It's hard when you don't have a full name or address to work with. I have a sister I haven't seen in about 35 years, with time she could be found, but not in a matter of days I don't think. Best bet might be to find a sympathetic family member who will release the info to you. Good luck.

07-27-2005, 06:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
sherlynn01 Join Date: Nov 9 2004 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 0	Did you call some to the local papers to see if they mite have posted about her death.

07-27-2005, 06:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
candie Waiting Confirmation Join Date: Jul 13 2005 Posts: 30 Rep Power: 0	If she just got married the day before the supposed accident she probably hasn't changed her name yet. Try your local library and see if they can help you with a more advanced people search. Or maybe try calling this family member back or a more reliable one and see what the deal is. Thats kinda rude to call and say someone has died, but you can't come pay your respects. What kind of person does that??

07-27-2005, 06:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
sunshineshack Join Date: Apr 30 2005 Posts: 47 Rep Power: 0	There actually all a bit wierd. We were told that nothing would be put in the paper either. It just sounds down right crazy and so unbelievable, but that really is how her mother was.

07-27-2005, 06:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Neon Beach Join Date: Nov 30 2000 Location: Ontario Age: 61 Posts: 38,594 Rep Power: 107	I can actually believe that. I have had some strange family things happen in the time of death also. Grudges etc. for whatever reason.

07-28-2005, 08:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
Sunset_Beach Waiting Confirmation Join Date: Jan 14 2004 Posts: 82 Rep Power: 0	If you know the city where she lived, you can call the county courthouse or Department of Human Services(if they have one). Those two places usually keep death certificates. Any Department of Human Services in your state should be able to pull up a death certificate provided you know all of the correct information.

07-30-2005, 07:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
sunshineshack Join Date: Apr 30 2005 Posts: 47 Rep Power: 0	Quote: On 2005-07-27 18:38:00, Neon Beach wrote: I can actually believe that. I have had some strange family things happen in the time of death also. Grudges etc. for whatever reason. My Dad keeps trying to tell me that this doesn't suprise him in the least considering the way her mother has been (and her family) all their lives. We did verify it, though. She did die in a car accident, but we still don't know any details. The person who wasn't supposed to be calling us, called us again. She is to be brought from Florida to here (may already be here as of today), but we aren't supposed to know. We called around to a few funeral homes and figured out which one. I called personally to the funeral directors home and spoke to his daughter. Heartfelty she investigated for me and called me back. She said there wasn't much info other than what I already knew and would call me back when more came or when the body arrived. She never did, though. I guess who pays for the arrangements gets their way. Further investigation led us to know that there would be no funeral. I guess the mom isn't taking any chances that we may want to say good bye. The body is supposed to be here Sat or Sund and as soon as it arrives at the funeral home they are to call the family (minus us) and tell them and then take the body directly to the cemetary. There will be a grave-side service done immedietly. That is the jest of it. Anger being words to be expressed...or more so hurt! I feel so much for my step-father, who I call Daddy, who raised me as if I was his own and did a darn good job of it (far better than my natural father who was abusive). I just can't see such a good man getting treated so horribly! I don' even think my mom would do this to my father who abused me. Everyone deserves a right to say goodbye. :0( We must trust in God to heal our hearts and give us the closure we greatly desire! I feel like her mother ruled her life and now is ruling her death. I feel for her children who I am sure her mother will try to take away from her husband since they weren't married until the day before the accident. She probably has legal gaurdianship over them because my step-sister was supposably wanting to (and probably did) join the airforce. I just wish I could get her husbands name. I am sure we could have a reasonable, open conversation. He may not realize all that has happened. I am worried he may now need help to keep his children after the way her mother did her own children. He may not be aware of what this woman is capable of.

07-31-2005, 06:29 AM	#9 (permalink)
Neon Beach Join Date: Nov 30 2000 Location: Ontario Age: 61 Posts: 38,594 Rep Power: 107	Sad stuff.

08-01-2005, 11:15 AM	#10 (permalink)
capetan I love Derf!! Join Date: Mar 26 2005 Location: Trapped Under A Eurowall! Posts: 330 Rep Power: 21	That is a horrible sad situation and I wish you and your Father the best of luck in your quest for him to get closure.

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