If Coke were run like Microsoft

Neon Beach · 05-06-2005, 05:38 PM

Bill Gates recently compared the OS market with the soft drink market, explaining that Microsoft is hanging on for dear life in the ultracompetitive OS market while Coke enjoys a real monopoly, since they'll be on top forever, but the DOJ doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following:

Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, i'd like a Big Mac.

Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99.

Joe: Uh, i don't want a Coke.

Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.

Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!

Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.

Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?

Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke!

Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street - i'm not going to drink the Coke.

Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.

Joe: Okay, fine, i'll pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.

Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable.

Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things!

Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?

Joe: Why did you just do that?!?!

Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods.

Joe: Aaarrgh!

Sol Tan · 06-01-2005, 05:12 AM

scary but true in many ways.

SwedaGuy · 06-02-2005, 11:24 AM

I can see it now...the blue bun of death...

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05-06-2005, 05:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Neon Beach I'm Banned Join Date: Nov 30 2000 Location: Ontario Age: 45 Posts: 52,065 Rep Power: 0	Bill Gates recently compared the OS market with the soft drink market, explaining that Microsoft is hanging on for dear life in the ultracompetitive OS market while Coke enjoys a real monopoly, since they'll be on top forever, but the DOJ doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following: Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, i'd like a Big Mac. Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99. Joe: Uh, i don't want a Coke. Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled. Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke! Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free. Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week? Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke! Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street - i'm not going to drink the Coke. Cashier: Then you can't have the burger. Joe: Okay, fine, i'll pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away. Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable. Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things! Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See? Joe: Why did you just do that?!?! Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods. Joe: Aaarrgh!

06-01-2005, 05:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sol Tan Join Date: May 27 2005 Posts: 24 Rep Power: 0	scary but true in many ways.

06-02-2005, 11:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
SwedaGuy Waiting Confirmation Join Date: Sep 3 2004 Posts: 777 Rep Power: 0	I can see it now...the blue bun of death...

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