Never Pi$$ Off A Cowboy\'s wife

Sherin · 02-03-2005, 01:10 PM

A West Texas Cowboy's wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn. She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The banged up Cowboy was terrified, and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. I'm going to set this old shed on fire, and go to town for a cold beer. You do whatever you want."

COCONUT · 02-03-2005, 01:12 PM

Too Funny!!!!!.

Neon Beach · 02-03-2005, 01:57 PM

Can you find one for the reverse situation?

Brandy1 · 02-03-2005, 02:08 PM

Sherin, why do you have to air my dirty laundry?

Sherin · 02-03-2005, 02:25 PM

Quote:
On 2005-02-03 12:57:00, Neon Beach wrote:
Can you find one for the reverse situation?

NO!

ramcat · 02-03-2005, 02:51 PM

ouch!!!

tigers1962 · 02-03-2005, 04:50 PM

OUCH! I wouldn't do that to my cowboy. I'd get ahold of whoever he was laying with and do it to her. I'd think of something else a little more painful for HIM!

Brandy1 · 02-03-2005, 05:25 PM

Lorraina Bobbitt should market a special tool.

banana1614 · 02-03-2005, 05:46 PM

The Lorraina Bob-it.

missmojorising · 02-04-2005, 01:12 AM

Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema

Thu Feb 3,10:36 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday.

Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.

"We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles."

Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.

"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case.

The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death, the Chronicle said.

A dispatcher for the Lake Jackson police said only Turner could discuss the case, but he did not return phone calls from Reuters.

Along with negligent homicide, Mrs. Warner was indicted for burning her husband's will a month before his death. Both charges carry maximum penalties of two years in prison.

Mrs. Warner surrendered to police on Monday and was released on $30,000 bail, the newspaper said.

Gosh I love Texas!

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02-03-2005, 01:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sherin I love Derf!! Join Date: Aug 10 2004 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,765 Rep Power: 10	A West Texas Cowboy's wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn. She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The banged up Cowboy was terrified, and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. I'm going to set this old shed on fire, and go to town for a cold beer. You do whatever you want."

02-03-2005, 01:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
COCONUT ~THE ORIGINAL COCO~ Join Date: Sep 2 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 6,224 Rep Power: 18	Too Funny!!!!!.

02-03-2005, 01:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
Neon Beach I'm Banned Join Date: Nov 30 2000 Location: Ontario Age: 45 Posts: 52,065 Rep Power: 0	Can you find one for the reverse situation?

02-03-2005, 02:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brandy1 I love Derf!! Join Date: Nov 17 2004 Posts: 8,018 Rep Power: 37	Sherin, why do you have to air my dirty laundry?

02-03-2005, 02:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sherin I love Derf!! Join Date: Aug 10 2004 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,765 Rep Power: 10	Quote: On 2005-02-03 12:57:00, Neon Beach wrote: Can you find one for the reverse situation? NO!

02-03-2005, 02:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
ramcat Join Date: Oct 26 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 3,224 Rep Power: 7	ouch!!!

02-03-2005, 04:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
tigers1962 Join Date: Jan 7 2004 Posts: 340 Rep Power: 5	OUCH! I wouldn't do that to my cowboy. I'd get ahold of whoever he was laying with and do it to her. I'd think of something else a little more painful for HIM!

02-03-2005, 05:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Brandy1 I love Derf!! Join Date: Nov 17 2004 Posts: 8,018 Rep Power: 37	Lorraina Bobbitt should market a special tool.

02-03-2005, 05:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
banana1614 Join Date: Nov 17 2004 Posts: 394 Rep Power: 5	The Lorraina Bob-it.

02-04-2005, 01:12 AM	#10 (permalink)
missmojorising I Love Derf! Who Doesn't? Join Date: Nov 17 2004 Location: Suite B4 Posts: 1,830 Rep Power: 13	Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema Thu Feb 3,10:36 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday. Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle. "We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles." Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper. "I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case. The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death, the Chronicle said. A dispatcher for the Lake Jackson police said only Turner could discuss the case, but he did not return phone calls from Reuters. Along with negligent homicide, Mrs. Warner was indicted for burning her husband's will a month before his death. Both charges carry maximum penalties of two years in prison. Mrs. Warner surrendered to police on Monday and was released on $30,000 bail, the newspaper said. Gosh I love Texas!

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