Brandy1

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey just did?" he asks.

"No, What?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."


Reminded me of Engfant.... lol ....kidding.

COCONUT

HAHA!!

Neon Beach

Lmao!!

Brandy1

hehehhehehhe.....

West Side Tanner

Monkey see, monkey do ?!

Brandy1

What are you saying West side tanner? You didn't visualize the monkey did you?

West Side Tanner

Monkey see, Monkey do. Haven't you heard this before? Did the Monkey learn this from the "Guy" ?

Brandy1

He learned from the cue ball.... lol

Brandy1

God grant me the senility to forget the people I
never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.


Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's
what I've discovered:

1. I. started out with nothing, and I still have most
of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is
falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the
hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a
few...
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been
anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door
is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have
put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does
everyone decide to play chess?
16. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're
everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is
the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about
the hereafter
I go somewhere to get something and then
wonder what I'm here after.

ramcat

Just wait. You'll get there soon enough.