gripmarketing

ANSWERING MACHINE AT MENTAL HOSPITAL

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred
to the mother ship.

If you are psychotic or schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice that only you will hear
will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound
key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address,
telephone, mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y &
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after
the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy
to talk to you.

If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry.
You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Neon Beach

roflmao!!

Sherin

I'm several of those....But, I'm not telling which!

Brandy1

all of the above, depends on the day....

COCONUT

i am with you AST!!

Brandy1

Hopefully tomorrow won't fit as many of those descriptions above....