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Old 12-21-2004, 09:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a
bit more realistic....

1. Bifocals Barbie Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and
large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn
beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes
with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3.. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her
whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with
tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her
sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry
mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of
exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.


7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root
for Babs and Ken, Jr... Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white
and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a
change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor
ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and
heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of
"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's
car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a
little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick
and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking
through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this
year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

HEY LADIES WHICH BARBIE ARE YOU?
I'M THE SOCCER MOM BARBIE!
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Old 12-21-2004, 09:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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we I grow up I want to be Barbie #9. I want to make money the old fashioned way------Just take it.
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Old 12-21-2004, 09:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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Are we ever gonna grow up??????
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Old 12-21-2004, 09:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Brandy, I am gonna do my best to stay 28 forever...Hey, I was talking to you last nite in the Sat. Morn. forum and you just dissapeared...
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I had to go get my kids from school. This whole mom thing is tiring....
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:04 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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kids, they are over-rated!!!!LOL
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:06 AM   #7 (permalink)
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True that girlfriend, true that. Cats are too, mine peed in my shoes this morning..... he is going to the SPCA for Christmas.
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:13 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I married Barbie #9.
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:16 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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he he--neon. so sorry, how long were you married?

Brandy-I guess you will kiss those shoes goodbye---well I guess you will not be kissing them now-but whatever.

What is the SPCA?
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Decades!
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