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Old 12-07-2004, 10:51 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 8 2004
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Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool tyo space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer
Yer frend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a fickin book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa


Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid Mom, who rides his a$$ constantly? It's time to give up on that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're ***.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do mw a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging ***** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa


Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your a$$ whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams, Santa



I got this email today, thought I would share!



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Old 12-07-2004, 10:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I'm now afraid to write Santa for my present.
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Old 12-07-2004, 10:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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LOL.....
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Old 12-07-2004, 11:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
~THE ORIGINAL COCO~
 
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funny stuff...
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Old 12-07-2004, 11:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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All I want for Christmas is ...........................(hehehehehe)
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Old 12-07-2004, 11:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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Do you not have your two front teeth ramcat?
Here kitty kitty kitty......
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Old 12-07-2004, 11:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Never said anything about teeth.....MEOW!!!
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Old 12-07-2004, 12:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
I love Derf!!
 
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That is how the song goes..... "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth"!
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Old 12-07-2004, 12:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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The song may go that way, but I have teeth. Just need some thing (someone) to bite into. Got any suggestions?
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Old 12-07-2004, 12:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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enlarger?
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