RandyR

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pis-sed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in
surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned
over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Daad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later:
"DAAAD" "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
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3. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a biitch to iron."
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4. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her
tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
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5. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a biitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a biitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and
gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy
answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother
asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a biitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." (Wonder where he learned that?)
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6. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy shiiit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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7. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."


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[ This Message was edited by: RandyR on 2004-08-19 07:09 ]

[ This Message was edited by: RandyR on 2004-08-19 07:12 ][ This Message was edited by: RandyR on 2004-08-19 07:13 ]

RandyR

JEEEZ, getting around that auto censor was a beeeitch....

COCONUT

LOL...

pam

BronzeBabe

too cute...

salonpro

Very Cute!

sherlynn01

That was too funny!

JOLEE

that was cute, I'm going to email it to my friends...thanks for sharing RandyR

West Side Tanner

Those were good!