My child threw a fit at church today - tanTALK

neon · 08-04-2002, 03:59 PM

I could not get her to settle down! Screaming and shouting and kicking. I was ready to beat her no matter who was looking.

When I got home I was repeating this incident to my mother in law. She told me that this child is so much like her Daddy that it is unreal.

A saying here in Texas is when you have your own children you will "Pay for your raisin'" The thing is I was a good child. So why should I have to pay for my husbands raising?

CHUNN · 08-04-2002, 04:31 PM

Because you choose to marry him. Sometimes life is not fair. How old is your child?

mcspadden · 08-04-2002, 11:11 PM

That's why we only have 1 child. I don't want to pay for my husbands raisin!!!:)
Neon, where are y'all located in Texas?

pam · 08-05-2002, 12:14 AM

My kids both laugh when they remember the death grip on the under side of their upper arms when they would act up in church. Also, for years I sang in choir and interpreted for the deaf so I was not sitting with them. They could hear my 'throat clearing' or feel my icy stare clear across the church. It is funny now but back then I wanted to beat them silly. Now they are learning about paybacks from their kids. I love watching it unfold. Never fear they will grow up and learn to behave even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

Pam

neon · 08-06-2002, 08:05 AM

She was a little monster yesterday as well. I finally got out of her why she is being such a booger. She said she's angry because she wanted to go to Cheerleading camp just like her friend.

She is four years old! What am I going to do when she is 16?

BTW, I had already enrolled her in the mini cheer camp that they hold here each year. Now I am considering pulling her name so that she doesn't feel that her tantrum has paid off. Suggestions?

pam · 08-06-2002, 05:16 PM

It is much easier to say no and deal with the tantrums now than when they are 16. If your gut says to not reward her behavior then I would go with it. I would rater err on the side of being too lovingly strict than to give in and let the child be in control. I was a mean, strict Mom but my kids have thanked me. I told them they didn't have to like me then cause I wasn't put here to be their friend. I knew one day we would be friends if I stuck to my guns--and we are. They are two of the neatest, most thoughtful adults I know. Don't be afraid to be the mom.
Pam

Mori · 08-07-2002, 05:39 PM

I was raised in an orthodox synagogue (we lived upstairs) and the children were actually encouraged to play and enjoy ourselves so that we viewed the place as one that we felt good about attending as we grew older.

I grew to love the place, the services, the peace, the serenity... just me and my shadow.
A screaming child will never enjoy the setting if their memories are of squeezed arms and spanks. Revel in their laughter and their joy and know that they represent a most important reason for your being there to give thanks.

I am sorry, but like so much more in your religion, you seem to have lost the meaning of so much. The one that you bow to, the one that you call god, he experienced the synagogue much like I did and felt its draw in the same way. That's the way to teach your children.

pam · 08-08-2002, 07:44 AM

So, is this going to turn into a religion bashing topic? The subject is not religion and whose is right. The subject is getting through difficult stages with our children. This responsibility often falls squarely on Mom's shoulders and she has just spent the last two hours bathing, feeding and dressing her precious children and is exhausted. All she wants is a little peace and quiet time to refresh and revitalize her spirit. My children learned to behave in public and both have healthy attitudes about and relationships with their creator. Mori, your experience sounds wonderful but it isn't the only way. Children all come to us with their own little personalities that need nurtured and loved and disciplined to grow.
Pam

Mori · 08-08-2002, 07:58 AM

Does your church not offer day care programs for children of different ages while the mothers talk to their creators? If not, start one.

When one religion tells the rest of the world that anyone who does not believe the way that they believe, they are doomed to **** for eternity... who started the bashing?

Anyway, you're right, let's not open a can a worms.

Becky · 08-08-2002, 12:02 PM

At 4 it is hard to rationalize with your child. If you think she will associate her tantrum with getting to go to camp, by all means follow your instincts and cancel it.

Each age hold new challenges. But they WILL grow up and all your hard work will worth it!

I still remember when i called my dad when I was around 30 and told him how much smarter he was now that i was an adult myself with my own kids!

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08-04-2002, 03:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
neon Join Date: Oct 21 2001 Posts: 667 Rep Power: 23	I could not get her to settle down! Screaming and shouting and kicking. I was ready to beat her no matter who was looking. When I got home I was repeating this incident to my mother in law. She told me that this child is so much like her Daddy that it is unreal. A saying here in Texas is when you have your own children you will "Pay for your raisin'" The thing is I was a good child. So why should I have to pay for my husbands raising?

08-04-2002, 04:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
CHUNN Join Date: Oct 17 2000 Location: Huntsville, AL Posts: 3,819 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 25	Because you choose to marry him. Sometimes life is not fair. How old is your child?

08-04-2002, 11:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
mcspadden Join Date: Jan 29 2002 Posts: 65 Rep Power: 0	That's why we only have 1 child. I don't want to pay for my husbands raisin!!!:) Neon, where are y'all located in Texas?

08-05-2002, 12:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
pam I'm Banned Join Date: Oct 29 2001 Location: USA Posts: 3,893 Rep Power: 0	My kids both laugh when they remember the death grip on the under side of their upper arms when they would act up in church. Also, for years I sang in choir and interpreted for the deaf so I was not sitting with them. They could hear my 'throat clearing' or feel my icy stare clear across the church. It is funny now but back then I wanted to beat them silly. Now they are learning about paybacks from their kids. I love watching it unfold. Never fear they will grow up and learn to behave even though it doesn't seem like it right now. Pam

08-06-2002, 08:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
neon Join Date: Oct 21 2001 Posts: 667 Rep Power: 23	She was a little monster yesterday as well. I finally got out of her why she is being such a booger. She said she's angry because she wanted to go to Cheerleading camp just like her friend. She is four years old! What am I going to do when she is 16? BTW, I had already enrolled her in the mini cheer camp that they hold here each year. Now I am considering pulling her name so that she doesn't feel that her tantrum has paid off. Suggestions?

08-06-2002, 05:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
pam I'm Banned Join Date: Oct 29 2001 Location: USA Posts: 3,893 Rep Power: 0	It is much easier to say no and deal with the tantrums now than when they are 16. If your gut says to not reward her behavior then I would go with it. I would rater err on the side of being too lovingly strict than to give in and let the child be in control. I was a mean, strict Mom but my kids have thanked me. I told them they didn't have to like me then cause I wasn't put here to be their friend. I knew one day we would be friends if I stuck to my guns--and we are. They are two of the neatest, most thoughtful adults I know. Don't be afraid to be the mom. Pam

08-07-2002, 05:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mori Waiting Confirmation Join Date: Apr 23 2002 Posts: 242 Rep Power: 0	I was raised in an orthodox synagogue (we lived upstairs) and the children were actually encouraged to play and enjoy ourselves so that we viewed the place as one that we felt good about attending as we grew older. I grew to love the place, the services, the peace, the serenity... just me and my shadow. A screaming child will never enjoy the setting if their memories are of squeezed arms and spanks. Revel in their laughter and their joy and know that they represent a most important reason for your being there to give thanks. I am sorry, but like so much more in your religion, you seem to have lost the meaning of so much. The one that you bow to, the one that you call god, he experienced the synagogue much like I did and felt its draw in the same way. That's the way to teach your children.

08-08-2002, 07:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
pam I'm Banned Join Date: Oct 29 2001 Location: USA Posts: 3,893 Rep Power: 0	So, is this going to turn into a religion bashing topic? The subject is not religion and whose is right. The subject is getting through difficult stages with our children. This responsibility often falls squarely on Mom's shoulders and she has just spent the last two hours bathing, feeding and dressing her precious children and is exhausted. All she wants is a little peace and quiet time to refresh and revitalize her spirit. My children learned to behave in public and both have healthy attitudes about and relationships with their creator. Mori, your experience sounds wonderful but it isn't the only way. Children all come to us with their own little personalities that need nurtured and loved and disciplined to grow. Pam

08-08-2002, 07:58 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mori Waiting Confirmation Join Date: Apr 23 2002 Posts: 242 Rep Power: 0	Does your church not offer day care programs for children of different ages while the mothers talk to their creators? If not, start one. When one religion tells the rest of the world that anyone who does not believe the way that they believe, they are doomed to **** for eternity... who started the bashing? Anyway, you're right, let's not open a can a worms.

08-08-2002, 12:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
Becky Waiting Confirmation Join Date: May 7 2001 Posts: 1,006 Rep Power: 0	At 4 it is hard to rationalize with your child. If you think she will associate her tantrum with getting to go to camp, by all means follow your instincts and cancel it. Each age hold new challenges. But they WILL grow up and all your hard work will worth it! I still remember when i called my dad when I was around 30 and told him how much smarter he was now that i was an adult myself with my own kids!

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