Bronze Star

Quote:By George CarlinSome see the glass as half-empty, some see the flass as half-full. I see the glass as too big.If lobsters looked like puppies, people could never drop them in water while they're still alive. But instead, they look like science fiction monsters, so it's OK. Restaurants that allow patrons to select live lobsters from a tank should be made to paint names on their shells: "Happy," "Baby Doll," "Junior." I defy anyone to drop a living thing called "Happy" in rapidly boiling water.The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.Enjoy!

Bronze Star

Quote:By George CarlinThe older I get, themore certain I am that I will not have to spend the rest of my life in prison.Sometimes on a rainy day I sit around and weed the losers out of my address book.The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I'm left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can't remember.Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.Enjoy!