Originally Posted by Muffin

Ok, well just an update. I went to the mental health place in my location. The professional I was talking to, got worried for my safety, and she suggested I go to the hospital. She a really nice person.

I accepted the help, and went to the hospital. That when I talked to a couple of specialists, and they weren't sure if I was depressed or just miserable. (there a difference). They decided too keep me in the hospital for a couple of days. Not because I am trying to be a *****--but when did this "couple of days" happen? The people in the psych ward let you chat on the inter-net? Things have come a long way since the last time I was handcuffed to a gurney.

I seen some really sick people, my roomate ended in the hospital because he tried to suicide himself with pills. He was mentally abused/physically/sexually, and he was even accused of murdering his sister.

I felt bad for the old guy, he needed pills to fall asleep, and when he did he would constantly shake his head on his pillow.

Anyways, while in my stay there I had a lot of time to think. I realised I wasn't really depressed, I was miserable, and I believe my mom is depressed, and she putting all her pain on me. How much time could you have had to "think"?

I live in a really abusive environnement my mom goes out of control, a lot and is highly abusive when she does, then my father loses patience and he freaks out. Then everyone just getting angryer because everytime they scream, the other person gets more angry. That when things get totaly out of hand. (Like the time I had to call the cops on my dad.)

I talked to a doctor, and told him all of this. He believes my parents do "love" me, but they don't know how to express it, and they put all there suffering onto me or I have to suffer with them, when they do suicidal acts. I knew he was right, I knew my parents did love me, but they were making me suffer. He believe my parents should say there sorry to me more often, I mean they do sometimes, but they don't do it enough. Parents never do enough--wait until you become one--you won't do enough either--it's a false hood perpuated in childhood that only stops when you have one.

The doctor told me he doesn't believe the hospital was the place, for me. He said he not going to give me meds, but he going to help me move out of that environnement. Good--move out. If you are 18 (and not "Vote For Mike Jones") 10 to 1 says you can get a gig waiting tables and make some cash--enough to pay rent somewhere. I personally, at this point, am gonna cast my vote that this poster is non-other than--drum roll please--yes, the donkey. If I'm wrong--I'll pepper this reply with just enough sweetness and UV light to not **** off missyhot, sandi or matrix man but I'm tellin' you--this is a joke sponsored by the TwO.

I'll be talking to social workers, and there going to help me find a new place to live. I'm a little scarred, but i'm tired of living in pain. I know it not all going to stop, because my friends always took advantage of me too.

The doctor said my story touched his heart, and couldn't believe the courage I shown. It was a little scary lots of wierd people in there. It was like a prison almost, you had to sleep at 11:00 PM, we couldn't have razors with us incase someone tried to hurt themselves. Now that-- I do remember from my 72 hour evaluation. (haha!)

We could only have showers at 8:00 AM.... It was really a depressing place. lol but it gave me a good break from the abuse, and my parents didn't yell a lot today, they made an effort because I just camed from the hospital, but I know it not going to last long.

PS: My parents aren't bad people, there just really sick, and i'd like to help them, but they don't want to help themselves.

Originally Posted by missmojorising

God helps those who help themselvesGod will not come to the aid of those who refuse to try; we must exert ourselves if we want to succeed.

Work on your own self first--whoever you are.
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Originally Posted by billable

Où vous Muffin de phase ? Êtes-vous le Canada ?